Vampire Knight: The 3rd Night
Fang of Repentance
One of the things I really like about romantic comedy Shojos is the high possibility of getting caught out. Sadly, I am set in my expectations of social norms, so that I still find deviance of normal sexual behaviour exciting and amusing even when used in predictable comical fashion. I’m talking about the transgender jokes that never-gets-old, how men never seem like men, how straight always has a bend and how you never know when it’s a trap or a reverse-trap.
I love traps! Mako-chan and Yoshino-kun are the only reasons Miname-ke should exist. I love Mako-chan! 
But I mean this in an entirely objectified point of view, of course, like how I love life-threatening traps in Indiana Jones. There’s something rather fun about those man-made traps designed to crush, poison or kill their unfortunate guests. But as much as I love the ingenuity behind these traps, I like to watch them from my crouch, rather than actually risk my ass being physically buggered - I’m not as handy with the whip as Mr Jones is.
So, then I was wondering how long it’d be before we’d get some social deviance to make Vampire Knight more like clown Town than clowning around. It can’t possibly take long, Vampire Knight is about vampires who, as Yuki exclaims while she masturbates, are all beautiful people. Why are the vampires at school anyway? What can they possibly learn in class? They might as well just Fuck each other, really.
Last episode was a terribly dull Shojo set piece event and I’m glad that all it took was some plot to make right that terrible waste of time. Also, there was a trap! But, shockingly, the traps weren’t laid as expected:
The early man-trap failed, but Hanabusa is number one grade faggot material - why does he collect junk? 
The janitor of the Vampire dorms is definitely a pedophile. He lures the girls and boys into his/her/its dungeon. Taihen Trappu desu!
Zero could be a trap, given the way he acted like a girl and had a strop because Yuki finds out he’s a junkie.
I thought the restaurant Chef was a trap in disguise. He’s serving Japanese food in a Baroque style Bohemian town! Should I expect the Russians not to notice if MI5 opened a fish and chip shop in the middle of Prague back in the cold war? In addition, the Chef kept trying to offer Zero free eggs - don’t eat those eggs Zero, this is a trap!
The big trap was a regular trap, played by a boy who later turned into, not a girl, but a vampire. 
How rather ordinary! 
No worries about getting bored though, the last trap turned out to be Zero himself! But he’s not a girl, he’s a Vampire! While pretending to be emo, he loses control and before you know it, Yuki is Zero’s next happy meal. 
Although Zero lets Yuki go with only two major punctuations in her vertebral artery, lets hope not too many more traps find themselves inside Zero. 
~ Teeif
Posted in Anime Blog, Vampire knight
